


Apples and Oranges

by terma_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-01-01
Updated: 2002-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:42:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26535286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/terma_archivist/pseuds/terma_archivist
Summary: A seven month relationship is going nowhere
Relationships: Alex Krycek/Fox Mulder
Collections: TER/MA





	1. Apples and Oranges

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alicettlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [TER/MA](https://fanlore.org/wiki/TER/MA) and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2019. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [the TER/MA collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/terma/profile).  
> Another of Peja's fifteen minute challenges that I couldn't resist. Problem with this one is, I'm not going to be able to leave it the way it ends. damn

  
Go to notes and disclaimers 

**  
**

Apples and Oranges   
by Aries 

  
"Are you ashamed of what we have together?" 

The slice of pizza that Mulder was lifting to his mouth almost fell out of his hand. He looked up at the other man, blinking twice. 

"What?" 

"Are you ashamed of..." 

"I heard you, I just don't know why you'd ask that." 

Ignorning his own pizza, Alex lifted one shoulder and let it drop. His eyes shifted down to his knee, studying the worn denim dispassionately. "Been thinking about it." 

" _Why_?" 

"I don't know, I...we've been together for almost seven months now, and you've yet to tell Scully about us and...we never leave your apartment." 

"W...where do you want to go?" 

"Out. Dinner. A movie. Something." 

Long silence. 

"I haven't found the right time to tell Scully." 

"There'll never be a right time." 

"There will." 

"No, there won't. Because you'll never look for one." Alex rose to his feet and walked over to the window, looking down into the dark street. "I know what I was, but..." 

"So do I," Mulder interrupted. 

"But you're not comfortable with it. You never will be." Alex shook his head. "This isn't working. It...it can't work." 

Mulder pushed himself off of the sofa and came up behind the other man. 

"Alex...what are you saying? Where the hell is this coming from?" 

"I'm saying...I'm saying I think we need to take another look at what we're doing here." 

"I didn't realize you were dissatisfied with what we have." 

"I'm not dissatisfied with what we have...which is sex." He turned to face Mulder. "Sex is _all_ we have. I never would have thought that I'd need more. I never have, but..." 

Mulder waited. 

"It's different." 

"What is?" 

"With you. It's...I want..." Alex sighed heavily and closed his eyes, turning again to the window. 

Mulder's brows drew down into a frown. 

"Tell me." 

Alex shook his head. "Nevermind. It doesn't matter." 

"To who?" 

"Whoever. You. Me. The fucking world." 

Alex turned and stepped around the other man, moving toward the door. 

"Wait. Alex...where are you going?" 

"It's getting late." 

Mulder paused for a minute, waiting until Alex reached for his jacket to speak. 

"Stay." 

Alex froze at the door then turned to face the older man. 

"Stay the night. It's Saturday, and..." 

"And you don't have to worry about Scully walking in and catching us?" 

"I was _going_ to say that I didn't have to be up early." 

Alex shook his head and reached for the knob. 

" _Alex_." 

Soft sigh. "What?" 

"You can't just drop this in my lap then waltz out without discussing it." 

"Okay. Let's discuss it." Alex let go of the door and came back into the room, stopping several feet from Mulder. "I'll start. You're sleeping with a former triple agent, liar, thief, assassin. The very same one who'd been a thorn in your side for years. Your partner and friends would have you committed in a heartbeat if they knew, and you aren't especially proud of yourself. So, you hide it. 

"I come over at night, I leave before morning, and as long as we keep it that way, your dirty little secret is safe." 

"Is that what you think you are?" Mulder asked, disbelieving. "My dirty little secret?" 

Alex's silence was his answer. 

"Do I make you feel that way? Really?" 

More silence. 

"Then why am I just hearing about this now?" 

"I kept telling myself that you just needed time. But in seven months not a thing has changed." 

"I..." Mulder stammered. "What do you want me to do?" 

Alex stared for long moments then lowered his gaze. 

"Nothing." 

Mulder watched him turn and again head to the door. 

" _Alex_." 

Again he stopped just short of opening the door. This time he didn't turn around. 

"Don't go. I don't want you to go." 

"But you don't want me to stay," Alex said softly. 

"I _asked_ you to stay," Mulder argued. 

"For tonight. Because it's Saturday." 

Mulder approached the younger man, sliding his hands up and down the leather-covered back. 

"No. Not just tonight. Alex, I...I never thought that you weren't satisfied with what we have. I didn't think you'd wanted any more. I honestly didn't think that it bothered you that I haven't told Scully, and that we don't go out. I didn't realize that you wanted that kind of a relationship..." 

"It doesn't matter what I want," Alex murmured, still not facing the other man. "Not if you don't want it too." 

Mulder grasped Alex by his shoulders and spun him around. 

"You don't know what I want." 

"You're right about that." 

"What I mean is," Mulder began, exasperated, "just like I had no idea that this was how you felt, you have no idea how _I_ feel." 

"Okay," Alex said to Mulder's chest. "How do you feel?" 

"First of all, I am _not_ ashamed." Mulder shrugged. "A little scared, maybe." 

"Scared of what?" 

"This isn't your ordinary, everyday relationship, Alex. I've never done this before. So much can go wrong." 

"Yeah. People could find out. They could look at you like you're crazier than they already think you are. _Worse_ , your sainted partner could be so disgusted that she drops you on the spot." 

"Could you blame Scully if she flipped out?" 

"It's not Scully's reaction that I care about," Alex said flatly. "It's your reaction to _her_ reaction." 

"My reaction to her reaction," Mulder repeated. 

"Yeah. You care more about your relationship with her than your relationship with me. And you can't run the risk of upsetting her or pissing her off or whatever." 

"Alex...my relationship with her and my relationship with you are apples and oranges. You can't compare them. The way I care about you is so completely different than the way I care about her and..." 

"Cut it out, Fox, okay?" Alex broke in. There was no anger in his voice. "You know what I mean. You're just rambling to get out of actually having to face the truth." He laughed softly. "Funny. You running away from 'the truth'." 

"That's _not_ what I'm doing," Mulder said then spun away from Alex and went for the phone. 

"What're you doing?" Alex asked quietly, already sure of what the answer would be. 

"Calling Scully. You think I can't handle her reaction?" He began to punch in the numbers. "Let's see." 

As he hit the last number, he heard the soft click of the door. He spun around quickly and let his arm drop, hand still clutching the phone. Staring at the empty space where Alex had been, he didn't hear the sound of the voice on the other end. 

"Hello? Mulder? Mulder, are you there? Mulder?" 

* * *

Apples and Oranges   
by Aries   
X-Files (Mulder/Krycek)   
Rated PG-13 for some language and the implication of m/m sex   
Summary: A seven month relationship is going nowhere   
Another of Peja's fifteen minute challenges that I couldn't resist. Problem with this one is, I'm not going to be able to leave it the way it ends. _damn_ Okay to archive   
---


	2. Part II: What About Tomorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A seven month relationship is going nowhere

  
Go to notes and disclaimers 

**  
**

What About Tomorrow   
by Aries 

  
"....stupid, insane, asinine...have I mentioned stupid?"

"I believe you have."

"Mulder, how could you?"

Silence.

"I'm waiting."

"I don't _know_ , okay? It just happened. Isn't that good enough?"

"No! I need a reason for this! I mean come on, Mulder, you _have_ to see how sick this is. How vile, how...wait. Wait. Is this a joke?"

"What?"

"Is it a _joke_. 'Cause if it is, I'm going to kick your ass for putting me through all this trauma."

"It's not a joke," Mulder said softly into the receiver. "There's nothing funny about it."

"You're right about _that_ , Mulder. I don't find this the _least_ bit amusing. Alex Krycek. Alex _friggin'_ Krycek. This is by far the stupidest thing you've ever done. Ever. _Ever_."

"All right, look. I...I gotta go."

"What. What d'you mean, you gotta go? You call me up, you lay this bomb in my lap, and now you want to just drop it?"

"Not drop it."

"What then?"

"Just put it off until tomorrow." His tone dropped to an even softer level. "You've hurt me enough today."

"Mulder, I...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"You think calling me stupid isn't hurtful? I gotta go."

"Mulder..."

"See you later."

Mulder hung up and dropped heavily onto the couch. 

Well, that was about as shitty a response as he could get.

//And you expected what? An, 'Oh, Mulder, that's wonderful', and her very best wishes? Get off it.//

At least he'd said it. It was out. Whether or not he and Alex could work through it was another matter, though.

He picked up the ice cold slice of pizza that had been Alex's and took a bite.

If Alex would even talk to him...

* * *

The flickering television was the only light in the room, casting a pale bluish haze over the man slouched on the chair in front of it.

He had no idea what was on. Didn't matter anyway. He wasn't watching it. His thoughts were focussed solely on the man he'd walked out on earlier in the evening.

He knew Mulder wouldn't have gone after him. It hadn't quelled the twinge of disappointment he'd felt, though. 

Alex groaned and sank deeper into the chair.

He couldn't go back. He was the one who'd walked _out_. And even if he was spineless and weak enough to...

The soft knock at his door frightened him out of his thoughts, and his head snapped around toward the door. He sat motionless, staring at the door for a number of seconds before a second knock brought him to his feet.

It couldn't be.

He moved stealthily to the door and listened for some sound. It came directly after the third knock.

"Alex. C'mon, I know you hear me. Open the door."

His pounding heart almost drowned out the muted voice.

"Alex...please?"

Alex unlocked the door then closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening it.

Mulder stepped into the scarcely lit room and stopped inches from Alex's heavily shadowed form.

"I was going to ask if I woke you," Mulder said, noting that Alex was still fully dressed, "but I guess not."

Alex said nothing. He stood quietly, looking at the middle of Mulder's chest.

"Scully knows."

Dark eyes rose to meet Mulder's steady gaze but still Alex said nothing.

"To say that she was unhappy would be a gross understatement. But she'll get over it." He paused, still staring at the younger man. 

Still nothing.

"I know. You don't care about her reaction." Mulder took a step forward. "I'm _here_ , Alex. Doesn't that tell you anything about my reaction to _her_ reaction?"

"That's today," Alex finally said, his voice a hoarse croak. 

Mulder sighed heavily. "What d'you mean?"

"What about tomorrow? How're you going to feel in a week? Three? You know, when things really start to get uncomfortable between you."

"She'll come around," Mulder promised.

"And if she doesn't?"

"She _will_."

"Okay. Let's say she does. That's just one obstacle. The other one...the biggest one is you."

Mulder stood shaking his head.

"You can't deal with the guilt, Fox," Alex said. "You're fucking the man who killed your father...had a hand in your partner's disappearance and her sister's death..."

Mulder lowered his head.

"The same man who..."

"I know who you _are_ ," Mulder snapped, agitation clear in every syllable.

"Yeah, you do. And you're ashamed as hell for what you're doing with me. But you can't stop yourself. You like fucking me and you don't want to stop that, but there's no way in hell you can let yourself be seen in public with me. You can't let anyone else know your secret."

"That's not true," Mulder rasped.

"Why can't you admit it?"

"Because it isn't fucking true!" Mulder yelled. "I told Scully about us! I'm here! Can't you give me an ounce of credit?"

Alex lowered his head and rubbed at one eye.

"It's really late. I'm tired."

"So am I," Mulder replied softly. "Come with me back to my place. We can sleep late and then spend the rest of the day trying to hash this out."

Several seconds passed, then Alex spoke.

"It might not be any bigger than your living room, but my apartment _is_ clean. So's my bed. The sheets, the blankets..."

"What?"

"We've always got to be at your place. Why?"

"I...I don't know." Mulder looked around the nearly dark room. "I have nothing against your place."

"Except maybe that you don't feel as much in control here as at your own place?"

Mulder stared. "You've got a lot of issues with me, don't you?"

"At least I'm finally talking about them."

"Christ, Alex. Okay, look. We'll stay here tonight. Are you happy? Will that prove anything to you?"

"I didn't say I wanted you to stay with me tonight."

"You were just bitching because we never spend any time here!"

"I was just making an observation about your unwillingness to be here with me as opposed to your own place. I didn't mean I wanted you to stay here tonight."

Mulder tipped his head back and clenched his fingers in his hair.

"Fuck. Fine. Do you don't want to spend tonight with me. All right. Gotcha. I'll go. But I tried. Don't say I didn't try."

Mulder turned to leave, but Alex's soft voice stopped him.

"Mulder one, Krycek zip."

" _What_?"

"You're keeping score, aren't you?"

"Keeping...why the hell would you say _that_?"

"You tried, I didn't. That puts you ahead."

"I'm not keeping fucking score!" Mulder got loud again. "I just know when I'm banging my head up against a brick wall, and I'm smart enough to know when to quit."

"So...it's over?"

"Do you want it to be?"

"That's how you're making it sound."

"I meant that I quit for tonight," Mulder sighed. "But you aren't making this the slightest bit easier. And I don't know how long we can continue this way." He walked to the door and opened it. "Let me know what you want to do once you decide. You know where you can find me."

Mulder stepped into the hall and closed the door behind him, leaving Alex alone again in the darkness.

* * *

What About Tomorrow?  
by Aries  
sequel to Apples and Oranges  
XF M/K 1/1  
Rated PG-13 for language  
This one is from Peja's 15 minute "Just put it off until tomorrow. You've   
hurt me enough today" challenge  
Summary: The boys are still struggling with a fairly new relationship okay to archive  
Feedback always welcome! [email removed]   
---


End file.
